Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Gratitude shouldn't need a holiday


Just like Christmas makes us want to give more, Thanksgiving encourages us to think about the things and people in our lives that make us grateful.  But wouldn't it be awesome if we had this holiday attitude everyday?

Being grateful can really alter your state of mind, in a positive way.  I think it makes us better  if we realize that those things and people in our lives are truly a gift.  But it's easy to take them for granted, and sometimes we need to look beyond ourselves to be totally aware of those gifts around us. Thanksgiving week I volunteered through Boston Cares at a food pantry near Boston.  I've been to a few different pantries over the years, and I'm surprised at the vast difference between them and what they can provide for their local families.  It's quite a humbling experience to fill and hand out Thanksgiving dinners to hundreds of families who can't afford to go to the local grocery store for their turkey and all that goes with it.  For me, filling the bags with a few often-bruised fruits and vegetables, some canned food and a box of stuffing, knowing that bag of groceries and a turkey will have to feed a family, brought grateful to a whole new level.

Growing up the last of 12 siblings in a blue-collar, post-military household, we didn't have a lot.  (My father retired from 20+ years in the service after sibling # 11 was born.)  We ate some pretty nasty food because it went a long way and was cheap.  (But strangely enough, some of what we grew up on would now be considered gourmet -- cow's tongue, beef kidneys, heart)  I don't ever recall not having relatively "decent" food on the table,  (the afore-mentioned and powdered milk notwithstanding!), and while some of our Christmas gifts may have been refurbished from a yard sale or the trash, our tree was always brimming with the gifts underneath it.

  I do remember sitting on the dining room table when I was 5 o 6 while my mom tried clothes on me that someone had left at our door.  The house I grew up in was a small ranch, originally 3 bedrooms and 1.5 baths, until my father added two bedrooms. There were two parents and 12 kids living there for a while in our little middle-class neighborhood.  Sadly, our "block" has undergone some changes over the years and now looks and feels very ghetto.

But while there are some things I would change about my upbringing, I am grateful for my humble beginnings.  I believe we are who we are either because of, or in spite of our life experiences.   With me, it's both.  I am grateful for family because i have a large, fun, loving family that because of distance, I see only once or twice a year.  When we are together, i realize how fortunate I am to call them family.  And I am grateful for family because of the loss we've experienced -- loss makes you appreciate those in your life that much more.

I've found that being grateful comes easily with a quick look around or through people I've met.  Taking a short walk in someone else's shoes, or sometimes even thinking about the steps my own shoes have taken me can also give gratitude new meaning, even when it's not the holidays.